i guess i have to stop

did someone really tell me, at one point in my life, that i go deeper than the average?
maybe i got tired of diving the deep waters of life. not that i'm dead, though, but similar to that is a lost life and self. but i thought being malalim is innate, how come i slipped out of it?
maybe the atomic structure, the moleular orbital theory and the intermolecular forces keep me from being me.
i should not be doing this anyway. wasting time in front of the computer monitor and typing things which only i could understand. the aguila criticism is waiting, and so is the anthro reading, and so is the extemporaneous speech for comm3, so are the three chapters of psychology, best of all are the infinite chapters of chem waiting to be "discovered". how the hell do i expect myself to even pass a subject? what more being a college scholar?
i guess i forgot how to think. the retrieval has a very huge problem. i know i've done thinking before, i simply could not remember how.
time goes too fast, it spins me around about two revolutions around the world in a minute. exaggeration. twenty-four hours is not enough for everyday's work and, of course, leisure. how could i stop? if i do, i'd be left behind, super behind. keeping up with it exhausts all my energy. how could i go deeper?
i always say this. i miss the old me. unfortunately, i could not remember who "she" was, all i know is that "she" was great, greater than i am. all i know is that i want to see her soon.